Tis Always the Season for Giving

Man it has been a long time since I have been on here and for reason, this semester back at school has been insane! (And I thought my summer of traveling was crazy). So just a quick update on my life; finishing up my last semester of my undergraduate at Mary Washington and it is quickly coming to a close here within the next three or so weeks. From writing countless papers to hanging out with friends, to praying at the Catholic Center, my life has been such a whirlwind. I have also had the privilege to do a tiny bit of traveling this fall as well. This weekend was spent in the small town of Mansfield, Ohio where I was blessed to see one of my good friends from school get married yesterday. Such a beautiful ceremony and many blessings and prayers go out to the newly wed couple! Then, about a month ago during my fall break I was lucky to be able to go up to Pittsburgh to visit Nick (my boyfriend) was is currently working at Carnegie Mellon as a FOCUS (Fellowship of Catholic University Students) Missionary. After being apart from him the entire summer, it was great to be able to spend some much needed time together for a long weekend. And what a beautiful and perfect weekend it was because...WE'RE ENGAGED!!!! Yup, so in a little over six months I will be the new Mrs. Grevas. I have to say, I am so incredibly thankful for where I am at in my life, praise God!

Speaking of being thankful, it is that time of year again... the holidays! We had Halloween and more importantly All Saints and All Souls days a few weeks ago, and now we have thanksgiving to look forward to here and about a week and a half, then starts advent and right around the corner believe it or not is Christmas! So this time of year in our culture tends to be known as the season for giving; we give each other gifts for Christmas, we share food together at thanksgiving, we give food to the local food banks and toys to those children who need them. But why is it that we only focus on giving during this time of the year? What is so important about giving? When we think about giving we typically think about buying gifts for people, or giving food to those who need it, or maybe even just flat out giving money to people, to the poor box in church, or to a specific organization that touches our heart. These are all beautiful ways to give, but there are, believe it or not, more ways that we can give to others. We can give our time, our love, our prayers to others. However, no matter in what form we may give, we as humans tend to hold back just a little. We love, but we don't always love with all of our hearts, leaving a little out because we are afraid of getting hurt. We give our time to help others or to be there and listen to a friend in need, but we may be still looking at our watch or phone to check the time, rushing off to be somewhere else or hoping that something else comes up so that we can leave and not spend all day with that person or at that one event. We love to give, but we don't love to give everything that we have.

Last weekend both the first reading and the gospel were all about giving, but not just giving, fully giving all that we have. The first reading was from 1 King's 17: 10-16; the prophet Eli'jah is sent to a town by God where he meets a widow who is outside gathering sticks. He calls to her and tells her to bring him some bread. The widow responses by saying "As the Lord your God lives, I have nothing baked, only a handful of meal in a jar and a little oil in a curse; and now I am gathering a couple of sticks that I may go in and prepare it for myself and my son that we may eat it and die." However, Eli'jah responses and tells her to not fear, to go and bake the bread and bring some to him and then after to make some for herself and her son, for the Lord says, "The jar of meal shall not be spent and the curse of oil shall not fail until the day that the Lord sends rain upon the earth." So she went and did as he said, giving him the only bread she thought she had left for herself and her son, and when she returned to her home she found that what Eli'jah had said was true, she and her son did not go hungry. This widow had little to nothing left; she had enough to make enough bread for one last meal for herself and her son and then they would starve to death afterward, but when the prophet Eli'jah came and asked for some bread from her, and told her not to fear for God would take care of her, she literally gave him all she had left, believing that God would in fact take care of her. She gave not just a small amount of bread and kept the rest for herself and her son, she gave it all over, to Eli'jah, to God.

The Gospel reading was Mark 12: 41-44;

    "As Jesus sat down opposite the treasury and watched the multitude putting money into the treasury. Many rich people put in large sums. And a poor widow came, and put in two copper coins, which makes a penny. And He called His disciples to Him and said to them, 'Truly I say to you, this poor widow has put in more than all those who are contributing out of their abundance; but she out of her poverty has put in everything she had, her whole living"

While this passage is talking about giving financially, this is not the point of the teaching. Jesus makes the statement at the very end of the teaching, "but out of her poverty has put in everything she had, her whole living." While the widow put in much money while she was poor, while she gave financially, she gave out of the kindness and love in her heart, not because she was told to, not because she wanted to be revered by others, but because she truly loves God and wants to help others. She didn't give financially, she gave her whole heart, her whole being.

These two readings are strong, powerful, and beautiful examples of giving; that we are called to give all that we have to God. For some people that is all the money they have where they truly do sell all that they have to follow Christ, such as in a religious order. Orders are called to give all they have by serving others full time such as missionaries whether they be overseas in a poor country or even in the United States. Some are called to give their whole hearts by helping those who are dying in hospice or by helping those who have special needs. No matter how we are called, we are ALL called to give, and not just give but to give with everything that we have to our Lord. Look at the best example that we have, how our Father, God, gave His one and only Son up on the cross so that we can be saved and reform our relationship that had been broken by sin with God once again. Jesus gave absolutely everything that He could, He gave His life. While we are all not called to give our lives for God, we are all called to give to Him. This holiday season as the 'spirit of giving' is in the air, think about how you can give, not just to others, not just this time of year, but to give every single day to God. How can we give everything that we have to Him?

Tis always the season for giving, giving fully to God.

It's Good to Be Back!

Wow it has been a while since my last blog post! I've had so many encounters this summer, so many adventures, and so many stories, yet I've traveled so much that I have had very little time to really explain and let my summer sink in. Just to recap for all you who are new to my blog, at the end of May I spent two weeks working and serving in the remote fishing island of Yakutat, Alaska. During those two weeks my FOCUS mission team of 23 helped the community through home repair projects, vacation bible school for the kids, retreats for the teenagers, and various community events for all ages.After the two weeks in Alaska, I then went to Loveland, Colorado for two weeks were I had training for my job for the summer with Group Mission Trips. I was put on a team of four where we each had a different job in setting up, and running home repair, mission trip experience camps for high schoolers across the country. My position was an office manager, where I would communicate with the facility we were staying in for the camp week, set up the facility and keep it running for over 350 campers each week, and make sure everything was in order and running smoothly. After my two weeks of training in Colorado, my crew and I drove across the country in our Ford Focus and Penske truck to help set up a camp and run our three camps; we set up in North Carolina, and had our three camps in South Carolina, West Virginia, and New York. Each camp was a week long where the high schoolers would come from all over the country (sometimes from all over the world, where we had two groups come from Canada and Japan) and would work on home repair projects while focusing on an overall theme for the week. The theme this year was REFRAME, where the kids were reframing who Jesus is to them, who He is to our world today. They also reframed how they view their relationship with God, both positive and negative. Nine weeks later, after our very last camp in New York, my crew drove back to Colorado to unpack our equipment then turned around 48 hours later to fly home to Virginia. And then.....I slept.

This summer was crazy with travel and lack of sleep, but this summer, I was a missionary. I was able to share God's love, joy, and word with everyone whom I met; from the natives in Alaska, to high schoolers at camp, to my own mission team and crew members on mission and at work. Did that mean I talked strictly about Jesus the entire time? No, while I did have many stimulating and deep conversations about being Catholic, about Jesus, about putting our full trust in God, it wasn't always direct. Some days, it was all about being a presence in someone's life, some days it was about being joyful even when I was running on a couple hours of sleep but still putting the needs of others in front of mine, some days it meant explaining to someone why I go to Mass every Sunday and why I pray every day. Sometimes these encounters were defining moments of my summer, a moment that really stood out to me, but sometimes these encounters were so small I still don't realize that they happened, and I may never realize it.

It is good to be back, it is good to share my experiences with all my family and friends, it is good to take all my experiences and encounters from this summer and bring them back to my life here in Virginia. This summer will stay with me forever, but it can't stop at just a pretty and fun memory, I need to make it live on, I need to continue to pray for that encounter with God every single day, a prayer that we must all have each day. Life is crazy even as I returned; I went to New York with my boyfriend, I am finishing up my college career in Geography, I am involved in my Catholic Campus Ministry on my campus, I'm going on various adventures this semester with friends, I have a blog that I need to keep writing, I am seeking many different opportunities that have been presented to me over the past month, but I need to keep being a missionary, I need to keep sharing God's love!

I'm just a little missionary, and it's good to be back!

Separate But Not Far

So this past week I had almost no contact with the outside world.

My job of working with Group Mission Trips as a red shirt summer staff has taken me many cool places; Colorado, Rocky Mountain National Park, a cross country journey across 9 states, the arch in St. Louis, the Carolinas, and even Niagara Falls yesterday, but it has also taken me places that are just a blip on the map. Last week my crew and I were running a camp in a small town of Seth, West Virginia, about an hour west of the captial of Charleston. We were deep in the Appalachian Mountains where we soon found out that there was absolutely no cell service or internet, all we had was one landline that worked part of the time and spotty wifi for our email for work that would kick us off every 20 minutes. Now you're probably thinking, how did I ever survive without my social media, without my texting, without calling anyone.....well I did, and this isn't the first time I have lived in isolation from the  world. I actually survived for longer this summer without everything, when I was in Alaska for two weeks. It may be hard, but I recommend it to everyone to try!

Whether we know it or not, we are all connected by our phones or by technology in general; we talk with everyone instantly through email, phone call, or texting, we can share our photos of our experiences in a blink of an eye with Facebook and Instagram, and we can look up absolutely anything that we want to with easy access to the internet. So how is it that if we are all so connected with the use of the internet, that we aren't actually connected at all? I've seen people be on their phones while their friends are sitting right next to them, and instead of holding a conversation with each other, they are playing a game, checking facebook, or texting someone who isn't even there. We are all guilty , my self included, or turning to our phone or plugging into our music when the silence makes us feel awkward, or makes us feel like we need to be doing something. We need to constantly be doing something, but not always the right thing.

When I was in Alaska for two weeks, Sean, one of the FOCUS missionaries on the trip said this, "We are afraid of silence, but why? We are afraid of silence because we are afraid of what we are going to hear" God didn't always speak in the big events in life, 1 Kings 19:11-12 where God tells Elijah to go and stand on the mountain and the Lord will pass by.
"There was a strong and violent wind rending the mountains and crushing rocks before the Lord--but the Lord was not in the wind, after the wind an earthquake---but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake, fire--but the Lord was not in the fire, after the fire, a light silent sound. When he heard this, Elijah hid his face in the cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of a cave"
We need silence in our lives, and the best way to start is by not being surrounded by technology, not being surrounded by our phones and by social media, and by texting people all the time. While it isn't all bad, it is good to get away, and when we get away, we may find ourselves in some of the  coolest places, or meet some of the coolest people.

In Alaska I was incredibly blessed to be surrounded by the locals and to have them show our group their land, their state. While we were there for them, to bring love, joy, and God into their lives, they were there for us. They shared their food with us; fish, claims, seaweed, and they shared their land with us; hiking, fishing, canoeing, boating, surfing, and exploring. We shared our lives with each other, fully submerging into the culture of the true native Alaskan and native Klinght people.
In West Virginia I was able to not only serve the community but also meet and talk with many of my staff and the campers as well. I met a girl named Emily who went to a rival high school or mine, plays goalie in lacrosse, and is going to CNU, a rival college of mine where she will be playing lacrosse there. At the end of camp she wrote me a note which said that throughout the week she really enjoyed talking with me and although she has been on multiple camps, this is the first one where she has really connected with a staff memeber and now really wants to become a staff herself in the next year or so. I was also able to connect with one of the residents that the campers served named Kimberly. Kimberly lives with her husband in Seth and is Deaf. I found out from one of the campers that she speaks American Sign Language so I was happy that I would be able to go and visit and communicate with her. I was blessed to go on Thursday where I stood and signed with her for about an hour. I then got to see her again on Friday night at our program, where all the locals are invited to join in and celebrate what God has done througout the week in the community. I again got to talk with her and found out that her husband doesn't know ASL and there really isn't anyone else in the  town who does, so she has to lip read most of the time when talking with someone, which is really hard for her. She was excited to finally be able to sign with someone for the first time in several years.

Being disconnected and living in social silence can be very rough, but pulling away and just listening to God and submerging ourselves in the surrounding culture can be a very eye opening and life changing experience. Without even knowing, we can not only have our lives influenced, but also influence lives of others around us. Silence is one of the best ways we can improve our relationship with God. It is easy when you don't have an option to be connected, but even though we can be on our phones 24/7, try going without for at least 30mins a day. Turn off your phone, turn off theTV, turn off the computer, turn off your  music, and just sit in silence. Also, turn off your mind as well, don't spend the time planning out your next day, or thinking about what needs to be done around the house, or who you need to call next time your phone is on...take that time to completely clear your mind and give all that you need to do to God. You are spending time with him, he will make sure that everything that needs to be done will get done in time.

Connect with God, disconnect from the world.

Seth, West Virginia deep in the Appalachian mountains

Me and Kimberly after Friday night program

Yakutat, Alaska

RefraME

Society today needs to reframe how we view Jesus.

When I was out in Colorado for my two weeks of training to become a red shirt, we watched one video that a guy had created where he went across the US asking the one question, "Who is Jesus Christ?" The most common answer was, "He's a nice guy." So you want to tell me that the Son of God who was humbly sent down to this earth, who was born into poverty, had 12 devouted followers, performed miracles, taught thousands, then died on a cross for us was just a "nice guy?"

This summer the theme for the workcamps that I am setting up and running across the country is REFRAME because we are reframing who Jesus Christ is to us, and who we are to Him. For the past two and a half weeks my crew and I have been working none stop at two different camps to make sure that the youth coming in can really reflect on this theme, and more importantly on who Jesus is to them. After we traveled the country driving from Colorado to North Carolina, we helped another crew set up and volunteer at their camp in Lexington, North Carolina. It was great for both of us; my crew got to have a practice run of what it looks like to set up for a camp, and the other crew got some much needed help from us. We only stayed half way through the camp, but we got to see some of the residents and the kids, and how they loved the camp and the theme. We then left on Wednesday to head down to Greenwood, South Carolina to set up and run our own camp.

In the beginning of the week, it was hard for the campers, and even me to see how this theme was going to work for this camp. The first two days are always more introduction to the camp and what is going to happen, so the theme really hadn't started to come out yet. Then, Tuesday started it all, for everyone.

Tuesday night program we showed a video entitled King of Kings; a simple black and white video without any spoken words, just music and written words on the screen. It talks about how there is a king above all kings, where no earthly king can ever compare to Him. Then another king ascended the throne, sin, and it comes in many forms, especially those that are hard to detect. But then a new king came into this world, and He was born into poverty in a manager. Our society is putting sin on a throne, where we are worshipping it by blindly following and letting it comsume out lives. Matthew did the same thing in the Bible; he was a tax collector who cheated many people out of their money and only thought about himself. Then Jesus came along and told Matthew to follow Him, without hestitating even once. He used to worship sin, but now He follows Jesus. We need to reframe who we are following in our own life.

Wednesday was truly powerful; where we asked the question, "Why do bad things happen to good people?" This hit hard to many people; one girl in a youth group had just found out that her father was admitted to hospice with only days to live when she heard this theme for the night. It is a hard question to ask, one that many people reflect on a lot. Are these bad things happening becausee of our sin? Think of the sick man in the Bible where the pharasses asked if the one man was sick because of his sin or his parents sin? Jesus said neither reason, but becasue He will be able to truly see the face of God through his sickness. We are all given crosses to bear, some will be harder than others, but that doesn't mean that we are being punished for things that we have done. God doesn't give a someone a cross that is too much for them to bear, for He knows what we can and can't handle. This night, this one night is  what changed the pace of the camp for the rest of the week.

During the program there is what is called, 'God Sightings' where some of the campers will come up and share how they saw God working today. The last girl to go on this night was a small timid girl who looked like she was a deer in the headlights. When she got up to speak, she spoke softly and shared of how when she was 4 years old her mother left her, and then when she was 8 years old shse realized that her mother was never coming back for her. Over the next few years, most of her family had left her, and when she would try to talk to someone about the situtation, everyone wouldn't listen and would just leave. This is the second workcamp that she has been on, last year her first and she wasn't too sure about it. But now, after having had two years of being surrounded by people who are loving and caring and willing to listen without leaving, she decided, on this night, to follow Jesus, to accept Him, and to love Him. This girl is 14 years old.

This is why I do what I do, this is why I am a missionary. We need to reframe how people view Jesus, that He isn't just something we can pick up and throw away on a whim, or something that is just a small part of our lives, or something that we experience on a week/two week mission trip and then go back into our world of ourselves, a world of sin. We need to actively choose Jesus, make Him not just a part of our life, but the center of it. We need to reframe how we view our relationship with God, we need to reframe ourselves.

RefraME

When Things Don't Go as Planned

I love to plan; I plan what I'm going to wear the night before, where I'm going to go and what I will do most days, how I want my room to look, and even what I am going to do in the future. I will also plan out an event in my mind and how I want it to go.

I really didn't have any idea of what was going to happen when I got to Yakutat, but I knew that we were there to touch lives by sharing God's love, and for that I was truly excited. We got our daily schedule on Monday (May 18), where we would start each day with Holy Hour, then daily Mass, then be divided up into groups to go out and do our work projects. I was paired up with Justine and Janae and we went over to Mr. Gene Reily's house to help him out with work around the home. His wife passed away from cancer back in 2000 and he just hasn't had any motivation to clean his house. He has three children; two daughters and one son, whom is named Dene and lives with his father. It was such an honor to work with Gene and learn about his past; where he grew up, how he met Carol his wife, and different stories he had from living in Yakutat. We would all stay on our work sites until lunch time, then we would go back to St. Annes, eat lunch, have some relaxation time, then we were going to split in half where one gropu would run a VBS for the young kids, and the other half would go on a hike with the high schoolers. I love working with high schoolers, so I jumped at the chance to go on the hike. My group was getting excited to go on the hike and do trail maintance, where we would clip back branches, clear the path, and pick up trash so other people could enjoy hiking as well.

As 3pm rolled around and all the kids got out of school, the young kids began to show up for VBS, but there were no high schoolers in sight. We waited around for a little, then had to finally leave because it was getting late, and we waned to be back in time for dinner. We still cleaned the trail, but it wasn't as fun or rewarding as it would have been had there been high schoolers there.

Later that night, at 7pm, is when we would have our community get togethers, where we would go to one of the many local beaches, have a bonfire, play some sports, and then just sit and chat with the town. This night, we went to Sandy Beach, one of the beaches that is on the Bay instead of the Pacific ocean, so there aren't any waves. We got there, made a great fire, set up the volleyball and got some games going, but no one showed up.

Currently, for my job as a Red Shirt with GroupMission Trips, my crew doesn't start our own camp until next week, so in the mean time we are helping another crew set up and volunteer at their camp until it's time for us to go to our own. It's tough because while I am here and helping them do little jobs here and there to make the camp run smoothly, I keep feeling like I'm not doing very much, which kills me since I am a person who loves to always be active, always helping, and always doing, but here for the last two days, I'm not feeling myself, I'm not feeling like much help. Then on top of all that, I found out this morning that I have an eye infection in my right eye, so I can't really open mine up all the way. THEN.....on top of all of that while the school has Wifi, I can't access all my photos from my Alaska trip to post on here.....

I'm sorry if all this is coming across as complaining, but it really isn't me complaining. This is all something that just didn't go according to plan, whether in Alaska or at work. It's good to plan, in fact we should make plans to do things otherwise not much would get done, but the key is to be open to God's plan, because God has a plan for each and every one of us, and while we don't know what it is right now, or we may never know what it is, His plan is
better for us, because He truly knows us, and knows what we need, and when we need it. I didn't get to go on that hike with high schoolers, but I got to know people on my mission better. We didn't have people a lot of people come to our community event, but the three people who came ended up coming back many more times. I may not have much to do here at this camp, but this isn't about me, and I let that slip my mind for a while.

God has a beautiful plan for each and every one of us, each one unique. We need to embrace His plan, embrace that there will be moments where we can't plan out what will happen, or how things will happen, so we put our full faith and trust in God.

"Not my will but yours be done" Luke 22:42

Learning to be Fluid

What a crazy past two weeks! I have been out in Loveland, Colorado staying in Lucile Erwin Middle School where I was basically back in school again for job training. We spent all day in a classroom setting learning our different positions, going through driving school, and so on. Now we are finally starting up camp and I am back on the East Coast!!! We spent the last three days driving almost 2,000 miles to come to Lexington, North Carolina where we are helping another crew set up and run their first camp until next week when we will continue our journey down to Greenwood, South Carolina to begin our first camp. In those three days of traveling we have been through 8 different states: Colorado, Nebraska, Iowa, Missouri, Illinois, Kentucky, Tennessee, and North Carolina. Let me tell you, our country is truly beautiful! If you ever get the chance to go and travel across the states, do it!! (But more on that later)

So Alaska (sorry folks I promise I'm getting all my stories up more now that I don't have to be in the classroom all day long). Sunday May 17th was our first full day and man did we really experience Alaska! We began the day with Holy Hour and Mass, which if you have the access and ability to do so, I highly recommend it, always begin your day by giving it to God. We also went down to the harbor to do a blessing of the fleet, which was amazing! Yakutat is very much a fishing village, where that is the main income for most people, so for Father Steve to go down and bless the boats was so cool. Then our group went on a hike through a part of the Tongass rainforest, with plenty of views of the mountains and the water. After the hike we went down to one of the many beaches in Yakutat called Graveyard beach. This beach is beautiful, and looks straight out to the mountains, espeically Mount St. Elias, the second largest mountain in the world, since it starts directly at sea level. Not only was the day beautiful with all the nature, but we had some great time to talk with each other as well. One of the things that Devon, our leader, told us was to "be fluid" on this trip, meaning that plans could change at any moment, things will come up, and we have to be able to be flexible and go with whatever changes. I'm not going to lie, I really do struggle with this because I am a very organized person who likes to have lists and schedules. Don't get me wrong, I do "go with the flow" from time to time, but I do like to have somewhat of a plan. It's the control that I like, something huge that keeps me from giving everything to God.

So we hung out at the beach for a while, then it was time go back to dinner at the church. We loaded up our two rental vans, and began to drive out down the sandy road to get back. As we were driving, our first van ended up getting really stuck in the sand. We got out to try and push, pull, anything to get out, but nothing was working, we were only going deeper and deeper into the sand, making it harder and harder to get out. With no cell service, well no technology at all since we were on a technology fast for the entire mission, and dinner waiting for us back at the church, you can probably tell that this was very much not planned at all. As a few of us were looking around the area to find big pieces of drift wood to use to get the van out of the sand, I thought back to what Devon had said eariler in the day to be fluid. Obviously we hadn't planned to get stuck, and we had planned to be back at a certain time, but instead of getting frustrated and start blamming people for things we could have done better, I took this as a time to not only enjoy outside, but also to get to know and talk to my group more. We had laughs, jokes, and worked as a team, till we finally got the van out of the sand and back on the road. I had only known these people for about 24 hours, and yet coming together to overcome that challenge, I felt like I had known them for a lifetime. If we hadn't gotten stuck, I may not have had those moments of bonding with my group. Praise God for vans stuck in the sand!

As I go into my job, planning, setting up, and running 3 different camps with almost 400 campers each, I have many different lists and things that need to get done, but I have to remember that I need to be fluid. Things are not going to go 100% right all the time, and instead of getting hung up on what went wrong, I need to remember why I am here, and I am here to serve my God who graciously gave me this opportunity to serve Him by serving others.

Be Fluid

Yakutat Harbor

Hiking along the coast

Graveyard Beach 

Moving the van 

Two Beginnings, One Encounter

So now that I'm as you could say, back on the grid, I have so much to update everyone on. I finished my two weeks in Alaska and now I'm onto about 9 weeks serving across the country with Group Mission Trips as a red shirt. So I figured the best way to catch everyone up on my adventures would be to go one day at a time for both experiences. We shall see how this works, but here goes nothing.

On May 16 I traveled for about a total of 12 hours, in 4 airports, and 4 time zones to get to Yakutat, Alaska. There I met 21 other people from FOCUS campuses all across the United States; Colorado, Arizona, Texas, Maine, California, Florida, and many states inbetween.
Yakutat is a small fishing village that has about 600 people in the summer months. They have a post office, school, police station, and a couple of stores, and that's about it. The parish is called Saint Annes and the priest who is stationed there is Father Steve Gallagher, a missionary priest who travels all through out southeast Alaska to serve the small villages in the Diosease of Juneau. Father Steve is such a blessing, and my first encounter with him was when he picked us up from the small airport and drove is around the village, telling us stories of how he used to be a cop, then proceeded to get pulled over for speeding!

Our first night we had Mass, dinner, and got to know our team. We had four FOCUS missionaries, 15 students, a full time missionary and his intern. My team is below:
FOCUS
Devon: Colorado
Dain: Texas
Sean: Texas
Matt: Colorado

Students
Melanie: Indiana
Shannon: Texas
Jeanette: Arizona
Justine: South Dakota
Magggie: Colorado
Emily: Colorado
Jannae: Texas
Maddie: Minnesota
Lelia: Maine
Michael: Florida
Ryan: Texas
Kelly: Arizona
Jaime: Colorado
Aaron: Maine
Alex: Michigan

Full time Missionaries
Craig: Mexico City
John (intern): Massachusetts

These people were in my life for two weeks and each and every person has brought me closer to Christ.

So day one for Alaska, keep looking for day two!!!

As for my training: I'm an Office Manager, or the mom of the workcamps. I help set up and run Jesus based service experiences for high schoolers across the country. It's a lot of work, but so much fun!!!

We'll that's it for me and the first day!

Peace and Blessings!

1 John 3:18

Drum Roll Please

Back in the continental United States! Being in Yakutat for the last two weeks was truly humbling and life changing. I'm so excited to share with you all my stories and photos! Photos are gradually being put on Facebook but stories to go with them will follow soon! Sorry for the lag in blog posts, there was not service and I was on a media fast and now I'm in Loveland, Colorado to jump into training for my job with Group Mission Trips for the summer. Speaking of which I got my destinations tonight for my camps this summer. ...drum roll please

June 29-July 4: Greenwood, South Carolina
July 12-18: Seth, West Virginia
July 26- Aug 1: Charolette, New York

I'll be posting my address for people to send me mail soon as well as my travel plans for all those who want to see me!

I'll be posting more now that I have Internet again, but this was mainly to share where I will be this summer. Please continue praying for me as I encounter Christ this summer through mission

Peace and Blessings

To the Last Frontier and Beyond!

I'm addicted to charity.

Yup you read me right. I went on my very first mission trip, or workcamp as it was called back in 2008 when I was 14 years old.Since then I have been on 3 other workcamps and 2 international mission trips (Jamaica and the Dominican Republic) and each trip has blessed me with different opportunities and experiences.

6 mission trips in 6 years.

In two days I will begin my journey on my 7th mission trip as I journey up to the remote island of Yakutat, Alaska. I will be spending two weeks missioning to the community by repairing homes, picking up tsunami debris, organizing a bible camp for the kids after school, leading the community in prayer, and embracing their culture.

But wait....there's more!

After two weeks in Alaska I will then be flying straight to Denver, Colorado to begin my two week training for my job this summer. What will I be doing? I will be serving as a Red Shirt summer staff for GroupMission Trips, an organization which creates workcamps for high school students to serve over the summer with their church youth groups. Yes, it is the exact same organization which my youth group went on workcamps with when I was in high school! So what will I be doing for them? I am an office manager where I will be working at three different workcamps across the country. I receive my assignments the night we get to Colorado which will be three different destinations across the country. After my two weeks of training, my team and I will pack up and drive to our first destination, set up and run the camp, then break it down, pack up, and drive to our next destination. I then will be returning home back in August.

That may dear friends is just shy of 12 weeks, or 3 months on which I will be out across the United States, literally journeying from the West to the East coast to share God's love and mission to every person whom I meet this summer, which is why I have started this blog! I will be updating everyone where I am, what I have been doing, as well as some stories and pictures from where I have been. If you want to get updates on when I have posted a new entry, enter your email in the email box on the upper right corner of the blog.

Please keep me and all my team members and those whom I will encounter across the United States in your prayers this summer, and I will keep you all in mine.

Peace and Blessings Y'all

Where You Lead Me

For those of you who know me, I'm a sucker for a good quote; song, saint, bible verse, inspirational, you name it, I will most likely love it. When thinking of my next blog post to write, which has been a very long time due to being incredibly busy college student during finals week, I was actually praying in the chapel the other week when the song "Where You Lead Me" by MercyMe popped into my head. Now I know what you all are probably thinking, she was just listening to that song prior to going into the chapel to pray, so as a form of distraction she is now singing those random songs in her head. Well my fellow companions, that is not the case. The last time I really listened to that song was years ago, so long ago that in fact I actually can't remember when I last listened to it. So now you would probably be saying, well it' just random that the song just happened to pop into your head then. Wrong again my friends, wrong again. Let me take you back a couple of weeks to get you all updated, then it will all make sense of why this song happened to come into my head while I was praying.

April is a very busy/crazy time of year for college students; there are many last minute assignments that professors want to get in, research papers are due within the last few days of classes, finals are quickly approaching, which can't be studied for since all the other assignments need to get done first. Basically, it's a month full of crazy. In addition to that, we were preparing for next years council elections at the Catholic Campus Minisry, or the CCM as I will refer it to. People were getting nominated, accpeting/declining nominations, and preparing to see who would fill the positions for the upcoming year. While usually very excited during this time, thinking of where I will be elected to, I was quite sad this year. This year was my last year on my CCM council, because next fall I will be graduating early, and since the council positions require a full year of service, I was not able to fulfill those requirements. So elections happened, and the new council was elected for next year.

The following Monday we then will have a joint council meeting, where both the outgoing and incoming council will have our bi-weekly meeting together. As soon as all of the meetings of the day were finished, our term was done, or as Katie, our president put it, "It is finished". It realy started to hit me then; while I wasn't going to be graduating this year, I only had one semester left. Even then, the current semester is almost over and now the summer is quickly upon us. What is going to happen?

What will happen? I think that question is asked so often of our society every single day. We yearn so much to be in constant control of our lives; what we eat, how we dress, where we live, who we are friends with, that we hate the thought that we have no idea what the  future holds for us. I know for a fact that I struggle with this quite often, espeically now with everyone constantly asking me what I plan on doing once I graduate next semester. What am I going to do? Where am I going to go? After our day of meetings, I then sat in the chapel and just thought about it all, what was going to happen in my life. Then, the MercyMe song "Where You Lead Me" came into my head. Now this isn't the first time this has happened where a song that I haven't listened to in years suddenly comes into my head, so because of that, I just sat and listened to the lyrics play in my head. My favorite part is the chorus

Where you lead me, I will follow. Where you lead me, I give my life away. Where you lead me, I will follow forever and a day.

How beautiful are these words, I thought. I may not know what all this summer will bring, nor what next semester will bring, nor what the next year will bring after I graduate, and I was really starting to realize all this when my time on CCM council was done. But, while this part of my life is finished, more chapters will begin to be written, and while I don't know what the storyline will be, wherever God will lead me, I will follow.

Listen to Where You Lead Me by MercyMe here

Faith, Trust, and Intimacy

Good Friday is always full of reflection, liturgy, and prayer. My day began with Stations of the Cross at 12pm, where we did reflection at each of the fourteen stations. We then had what is known as Tre Ore, which is translated 'Three Hours'. It traditionally goes from 12-3pm, and is a reflection on the last seven phrases of Jesus while He was on the cross. The four Gospels (Mark, Matthew, John, and Luke) all have different accounts of what was said while Jesus was on the cross, which is why we reflect on seven total phrases. At my Catholic Campus Ministry, we have seven different students each pick a phrase, then each one will reach the Gospel passage, give a brief reflection, read a prayer on the passage, then snuff one of the candles (there are seven in all, one for each of the phrases that was said). There is then a song that is sung, and then time for silent reflection before the next phrase.

This year I was asked to do a reflection for Tre Ore, and I have to say, it was such a tough decision to decide which one I wanted to choose. After much prayer, I finally decided, or well God decided for me, and I wanted to share with everyone.

Luke 23: 44-46
  "It was now about the sixth hour, and there was darkness over the whole land until the ninth hour, while the sun's light failed; and the curtain of the temple was torn in two. Then Jesus, crying with a loud voice, said, 'Father, into thy hands I commit my spirit!' And having said this he breathed his last."

Jesus made the ultimate sacrifice; He endured various forms of torture, ridicule, and pain, He carried a cross on His back to the top of a hill, had to greet His mother through all this pain, was nailed to a cross, and then He died. Despite all the pain and suffering, He still managed to have complete trust in God.
When you look at the agony in the garden (Luke 22: 42) Jesus said, "Father, if you are willing, take this cup away from me; still not my will but yours be done"
He was terrified, for He knew exactly what was going to happen, and even with this knowledge, He still put all His trust in God He could have backed out, said no, and just walked away from it all, but He didn't. Instead, He had trust in His Father, a trust that was there even at that final moment when He finally said, "Into your hands I commit my spirit." At that moment, Jesus truly gave God everything; mind, body, soul, and spirit. A trust beautiful beyond compare, one that we all must strive to have with our Father.
Not only was there trust, but intimacy. With both the prayers Jesus said; in the garden and on the cross, they began with 'Father' for Jesus was addressing Him personally, something that we all must do every single day with in both our prayer and when we speak of God. When we talk about Jesus we need to use the present tense, that Jesus IS not Jesus was.
Trust and intimacy; two things that we NEED to have with our Father.
During liturgy of the hours, night prayer ends each night with the prayer, "Into your hands, Lord, I commend my spirit." In the Divine Image of Jesus Christ, the words "Jesus, I trust in you" are written below the image. We have all these ways to express our trust with God, but do we really trust in Him?
It's hard to trust God when the path on which we walk is rocky and we have many crosses to bear. It's hard to have an intimate relationship with God when there is so much pain and suffering in the world. Why is it so hard to trust?
To trust someone, they have to merit it by actions, by love. We as humans have to gain trust. We can trust family, friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, and all those who are close to us because they have gained our trust with their love for us, with their self service and dedication to us. We see this through small actions that they do for us. In order for us to trust God, we first need to fully understand what He did for us, that He gave us His only Son who died on the cross for us.
How much does He truly love us? Look up at the cross at the front of any Catholic Church and you will see Jesus with His head bowed. Why is it bowed? More importantly, who is He bowing His head to? He is bowing His head to us, to you, because He died on the cross for you. Kings are bowed to by their servants, but this King of heaven and earth is bowing to us, to show us just how much He truly loves us. Mother Teresea even said, "When we look at the cross, we know how much he loved us then. When we look at the tabernacle, we see how much he loves us now."
Next time you look at that cross, stop and think of what He did for you, thank him, and then, bow your head in return. He loves us so much that He would die for us, the greatest act of love known to man, so why shouldn't we trust in Him? Bow your head back to Him, show Him how you want that intimate relationship, how you trust in Him and what He has in store for you. Then say with all your heart and with meaning,
Jesus, I trust in you.

Three Trees

You know it is holy week when Catholics are extremely busy, running around, making sure everything is set up for Easter Triduum. (hint hint why I haven't been able to post nearly as much as I would like to in the past week or so...).

So as Easter is quickly approaching, many Catholics like to go to confession, making the lines very long. Unfortunately I had no time to go in the beginning of the week with my crazy schedule, so I finally made time to head over to St. Mary's down the road for 7pm confession on a Wednesday night. I was proud of myself, I had gotten there 15 minutes early (6:45pm) but was surprised to see so many cars, the entire parking lot was packed! I then saw many students from the Catholic primary school, Holy Cross, and then thought, 'oh, it's just the parents picking up their kids from class, no worries.' So I headed inside, and as I started to make my way to the usual pews which hold the confession line, I was confused to see many people sitting inside, and holding programs. Usually, 7pm on a Wednesday night there is both confession and adoration, which I was totally prepared for, but now this was throwing off my schedule! Now that I was sitting in the pew waiting, I was deciding should I stay and see whatever is happening/if confession is actually happening, or should I risk leaving and then try to come back later? Then 5 more people came and sat in my pew, trapping me. Looks like I was going to stay.

Moments later one of the sisters from Holy Cross Academy came up to the front of the church to introduce the event. The school's sixth graders were performing a play entitled 'Three Trees', apparently a holy week tradition at St. Mary's Church. As soon as she finished her introduction, the sixth graders, all dressed in purple tee-shirts and khaki pants, filed into the church as they began to sing. Ahh so it would be a singing play! I was already here, so I decided to sit back, relax, and enjoy, waiting to see what was to unfold.

The play was really cute; it was about three young trees who had big plans for when they grew up. The first tree wanted to become a treasure chest to hold the finest gold, silver, and jewels, fit for a king. The second tree wanted to become a ship who would carry mighty sailors and kings. Then, the third tree didn't want to become something, but instead wanted to grow straight and tall, so that when people looked up at him, they would look up at heaven, for that is how tall he wanted to be. One day, some men came to chop all three trees down, and then they were thrown off to the side. The first tree was then taken by carpenters and made into a box, which was then put in a manger to be used as a oxen feed box. The tree was upset, for it had wanted to hold treasures beyond compare. Then, along came a man and a woman who had nowhere to go. So they came into the manger, and the woman gave birth to a son, and laid him in the box, for she had no crib for him. The tree had dreamed of wanting to hold treasures of gold and silver, but now he was holding the greatest treasure of them all. Now the second tree was all taken by carpenters and was made into a small boat, which was then placed on a small lake. The tree was upset because it had wanted to be a mighty ship with sails so big that it would carry great warriors and kings. One day a group of fishermen and a teacher came into the boat, where the teacher ended up falling asleep. Suddenly the weather turned bad, and the boat looked like it would capsize and the fishermen were greatly afraid, but then the teacher stood up and commanded the sea to be calm. The tree had dreamed of being a huge ship, who would carry get warriors and kings, but now was holding the greatest of kings, the mightiest of warriors who could calm the seas. Then, there was the third tree, who was left until one day some soldiers came, picked him up, and put him on a man's back, a man who walked up a hill, with many people laughing and jeering at him. The man was then put up on the tree where he died. The tree was upset because he wanted to live a long life and grow so tall that when people looked up at him, they would be looking up at heaven. Then the tree understood; by that man who carried him and then was killed on him opened up the gates of heaven. Now every time people see this tree, they are looking at the opening of heaven. The play then ended with three students holding up three white flags (they held green flags in the beginning to represent the three trees) but now the white flags are what the trees became and how they will lead up home to Jesus.

The play was 30 minutes long and something that I wasn't expecting to see at all, but as simple and music filled as it was, there was such a big message that was put so simply. All three of the trees had plans of what they wanted to do when they grew up; they wanted to be great each in their own way, but then one day their plans were drastically changed as they were cut down. They each then had to just wait and see what was going to happen to them. Then they each served a very important role in the life of Jesus; the feed box in which was the baby's crib, the fishermen boat on which Jesus calmed the storm, showing himself to the disciples, and then the cross on which Jesus gave His life for us and opened the gates of heaven. We all want to do great things in this life, we all have plans drawn out, organized neatly in which we want to follow, but those elaborate plans may not be what God has in store for us, in fact He has something way more important and better for us to do in our lifetime. What we need to do is just trust in Him, and not just trust, but put all of our trust in Him. We need to give our lives to Him and to know fully that He will take care of us, that He has great plans for us.

I went into church Wednesday at 6:45pm expecting to go to confession and spend some time in front of Jesus in adoration, but what I saw and experienced was a simple story of a great message given by some sixth graders.

What will those three trees say to you?

A Girl and Her Glitter

So for the past month I have been seeing glitter, everywhere! No parties, no make-up or shiny clothes, and no Kesha, but lots of glitter. Where is it all coming from and why does it matter? Our Lady of Guadalupe loves glitter.

Let me explain. On February 10th, a Tuesday, I walked into CCM at UMW to prepare for daily mass and then prepare for my weekly bible study later that night. I had just put my backpack down when my FOCUS discipler, Vicki, comes walking in with the biggest smile on her face. She said that she had just gotten back from St. Marys, the local Catholic Church down the road, and had just seen Mary, our dear Mother. At first I was very confused, but then she explained that there was a replica of the Tilma of Our Lady of Guadalupe that was being shown at the church until 9pm that night. Not only was it being shown, but you can go right up to the tilma and touch it too! Now I have a very special devotion to Mary, so I was really excited that I would be able to go and visit her, especially so close that I could actually touch her, so I decided to go with my friend Katie.

Now for those of you who don't know the story of Our Lady of Guadalupe; in 1531 a man named Juan Diego was a poor Aztec indian who had converted to Catholocism. He was walking to a place known as Tepayac when he then encountered a beautiful woman, who was speaking in his native tongue. She identified herself as the Virgin Mary and asked him to build a church where she was speaking to him. Juan then went to the bishop and told him what had happened, but the bishop wanted the lady to appear to him again before he would say whether he would build thiss church or not. He went back and Mary appeared to him again, saying the same thing. Juan then went back to the bishop who said he would only meet Juan's request if this lady gave him a sign. When Juan finally returned to see Mary, she told him to go to the top of the hill, cut the flowers, and bring them to her, which was amazing since it was freezing outside. He gathered the roses in his tilma, took them back to the Virigin Mary, who then told him to take them to the bishop. Juan then went to the bishop, opened his tilma to drop the roses in front of him, when he found that on his tilma, there was an image of the Blessed Virgin Mary. The bishop then requested for the church to be built where Juan had meet with Mary.

While the actual tilma is still shown on display today at the orginial site in Guadalupe, Mexico in the church, it is also displayed high above the ground, since many years ago someone had tried to bomb the image. However, there are replicas that will travel around with a group of missionaries to many different churches so that many more people may experience the graces bestowed by the Virgin Mary. The amazing thing of the replica tilma is that it has been approved by the pope and has been shown to perform miracles. Many of the signs that are shown from this replica are; touching the hands of Mary they feel warm, touching her heart you can feel her heart beat, touching the heart of baby Jesus in her womb you can feel his heart beat, shine a light in her eyes and the pupils will dialate, and she will also cry oil. She has performed several miracles, such as recoveries being shortened from major surgeries, and being able to have a child after having been barren for many years. One other thing that the missionaries who travel with her noticed is that she will leave glitter in places. There are different colors, and they have different meanings:

Silver-I show magniminity of my heart. Ask what you want
Gold-I incline toward the weak. I will heal you spiritually, physically, psycologically, and morally.
Blue-i announce that I am nearby. I am with you
Green-These open you to hope in God, acting in His favor.
Red-In time of trial you offer me a sacrifice, remember that I love you.

So after hearing all this from the missionaries when I was in the church, I stood in line waiting my chance to see her, feeling like a child on Christmas morning, where I just can't wait. Finally, I went up, I felt her hands first, but I didn't feel anything. I began to get discouraged, wondering if my mother wasn't there with me. Next, I felt her heart, and there was the strongest heartbeat I have ever felt. I was feeling my Mother's heartbeat, and I almost burst into tears of joy. My Mother was with me, and oh so close she was! I then felt her stomach and sure enough, there was a faint little baby Jesus heartbeat as well. It was so beautiful to be that close to both my Mother and my Savoir.

So after we prayed, Katie and I then went back to CCM to tell everyone of what we saw and experienced. I then sat down with my friends, getting ready to do some work on my bible study, when I found some gold glitter on my hand. I felt so loved, so gratified that she chose to show me glitter already, to show me that she is always with me. I was blessed with the opportunity to go back that same night to see her once again, and this time I brought more people to experience the same love and affection from her as I had earlier that day. This time, I was able to feel the warmth in her hands, like she was taking my hand and holding it, leading me closer to her son.

Since that beautiful that when I got to see my Mother not once, but twice, I have seen glitter in many different places, with all sorts of colors. I even have some of my friends who went with me or know how close I hold Mary to my heart come up to me and share with me how they show or found glitter and what color it was so I can tell them what it means. My favorite time was when my friend Melanie was getting ready to take a very hard test in one of her classes. She asked me to pray for her, so during the time when she was getting ready to take her test, I was walking along campus and said a Hail Mary for her to do well on her test. Later that day she came up to me adn exclaimed that she had gotten to her classroom, sat down at her usual desk to get ready to take her test, and behold there was glitter all over her desk. I asked what time she found this and the time she said was just about the time that I had prayed to Mary for her intercession on Melanie's test. It was a beautiful prayer experience for sure!

Whether you see glitter or not, know that our Blessed Mother is always with us; she loves us very much, and is our most direct way to be closer to her son, Jesus. Ask her to intercede for you, for a son can never refuse his mother, Jesus can never refuse a prayer request from Mary.

Our Lady of Guadalupe, pray for us!

Read more about Our Lady of Guadalupe here.

Climbing Oak Trees

So for those of you who don't know me that well, I am Roman Catholic. A year ago, I would have just said that  I was Catholic, but then I learned this past year that there are multiple rites in the Catholic Church; 22 to be exact! So what is a rite then? A rite represents a church tradition about how the sacraments are to be celebrated. So the sacraments are all maintained in all these different rites, but how did there come to be so many rites in the Catholic Church? When Jesus ascended into Heaven, the Holy Spirit then came down upon the Apostles in the form of tongues of fire, where they were then able to speak in many different languages. (Acts 2: 1-6) This allowed them to go out into the world so that they may proclaim God's love and word to everyone that they would meet. Peter did this when he traveled to Rome to established the western church, or the Roman Catholic Church, in which he became the first pope. Before he established the church in Rome, he evanglized the people of Antioch, and founded the Melkite rite of the Catholic Church, also known as the Greek Orthodox. Therefore, Roman and Melkite Catholics are from the same patriarch!

So how did I come to learn about all this? My one good friend from school, Melanie, is Melkite Catholic, and she began to teach me some of the prayers and chants that they do for the liturgy of the hours, which is one of my favorite prayers to do every single day. Finally, a few weeks ago, she invited me up to her home parish which is a Melkite church to join her for a service. I was both nervous and excited; I barely knew anything about the Melkite rite, but at the same time I was excited to learn everything about them; traditions, similiarities, differences, and everything inbetween.

When we got to the church I was blown away by how beautiful it was; it was decorated all around with icons of everything; saints, apostles, Mary, Jesus, prophets, angels, and Bibical events (the Annuniciation, Transfiguration, Last Supper). As soon as we entered the church, I began learning some differences between the two rites. For example, while the Romans genuflect whenever they are in the presence of Jesus, the Melkites do a metany, which is bowing and touching the floor. They touch the floor out of a sign of humility, for we are not worthy to be in the presence of the Lord, for we are lowly sinners. They bow instead of genuflect because the people of Antioch believed that genuflecting was for servants and slaves, while we are sons and daughters of God should not at as servants and slaves do. To make the sign of the cross, you take your tumb and first  two fingers and put them together, for this represents the Holy Trinity. You then make the sign of the cross going from right to left instead of left to right. This has several meanings; one is that Jesus is to come from the east (the right) when He comes again, so the sign of the cross is made as if Jesus were coming to Earth again from the east (the right) across the Earth (over to the left). The other meaning is just that at one point the direction of the sign of the cross was all the same, but when the priest would turn to the crowd and bless them with the sign of the cross, the people were confused of how to copy him, which is why there is a division in the direction of the sign of the cross.

What I loved about the actual service was how everything is chanted; readings, the Gospel, the sacraments,everything except for the homily. There are also no books to follow along, which allowed for me to really listen and enjoy the mass. While the way of receiving the Eurcharist was different, the sacrament itself was the same. Finally, one of my favorite parts of the service was actually at the very end where they will serve the people blessed bread. This is because they believe that after receiving communion,the first thing that should be eaten should be blessed.

I could go on and on about how beautiful everything was, what the similarities and the differences were, but you all would be reading for hours on end.

So what do I say when people ask me about the different rites of the Catholic Church? I say that Catholocism is like an oak tree; it has roots and a sturdy trunk of which is the basis of the tree and holds everything together. You then have your branches which all differ; heights, lengths, leaves, no leaves, and so on. The trunks/roots is God; it's Jesus, Mary, the Holy Spirit, the sacraments, everything that we believe all together as Catholics, what holds us together. The branches are the different rites; while we are all connected to the same trunk, the sacraments, we have different traditions that we follow. These branches, these rites, give us a new perspective on our faith, on how beautiful the work of God really is, bringing together many cultures and traditions by having and keeping the sacrements pure.

So what do I say to those people who ask me about the different rites? I tell them to go and climb the oak tree and have a new view. Go and experience and learn about the different rites. I have been blessed to experience both the Roman and Melkite rites and there are aspects from both of them that I love very much; from the Roman I love all of our saints, the rosary, the Divine Mercy Chaplet, and the liturgy of the hours, while from the Melkite I love the chants, the chocki prayer rope, the Jesus prayer, and the prayers in the Horologian (their version of liturgy of the hours).

Go climb the tree, get a new perspective on our beautiful faith, and discover something that you never knew was there.

Learn more about the different rites here.

Learning the Little Way Part 1

Have you ever heard that saints will follow us? If someone had told me this a year ago I would have given them my infamous skeptic look and thought that they were just crazy. Saints are best friends with Jesus, they are in heaven, why would they spend their time following us, when it is we who should be following their ways to be closer to God? That's just it, that is why certain saints will follow us around, giving us little signs here and there because they want us to learn about them, to see just how they strengthened their relationship with God and how they can help us to strength ours. So I have been followed or as I've been told "stalked" by several saints lately, on which you will hear of more and more as this blog goes on, but one that has majorly been a part of my lfie for the entire school year has been St. Therese of Lisieux. St. Therese was this beautiful young girl who grew up in France and became a Carmelite Nun, one who is cloistered, can't go out in the real world, when she was but a teenager. She became famous for what is known as "the little way". You may have heard her also refered to as St. Therese the Little Flower. I remember my grandma always loved to talk about her when I was a little girl, but I never really stopped to learn much about her, until this year.

For Christmas, my one friend Katie gave me the book, The Story of a Soul: The Autobiography of St. Therese of Lisieux. I was so excited to finally be able to learn more about this beautiful saint whom I've heard of since I was a little girl, whom has been following me around for the past few months, but whom I don't know very much about. St. Therese was the youngest of 5 daughters and was a young child when her mother passed away from cancer. St. Therese, along with all of her sisters all became Religious Sisters. Pauline, the second oldest, whom also became a mother figure during Therese's youth, asked Therese to write her about her childhood and how she remembers it, since she was blessed to have remember very vividly much of her youth. The first section of the book, Therese writes to her older sister, who is Mother Superior of the Carmlilite Order where both her andTherese are, all about her childhood; her relationship with her sisters, with her father and mother (before her mother died), and with God.

I have only just begun reading this beautiful book by St. Therese about how she was as a child, and God truly watched over her and blessed her at a very young age. While a very holy person, she speaks very simply as so all can understand. For example when she is talking about people, she compares their souls to flowers in a garden; "Jesus willed to create great souls comparable to Lilies and roses, but He has created smaller ones and these must be content to be dasies or violets." Some peoples souls are bigger, some are smaller, but she also states, that "Perfection consists in doing His will, in being what He wills us to be." God gives us what we can handle; some souls are able to handle more while others may handle less, but God loves each and every one of us as His own. How beautiful that a four year old little girl could compare God's graces bestowed on His people to a garden of beautiful flowers?

As I continue to read this beautiful story of a soul, I am learning so many things to apply to my life and to teach others. Saint Therese is truly a beautiful soul, one who suffered much, but who loved God till the day she took her last breathe, a true and devote love which we all should aspire to have.

Saint Therese of Lisieux, pray for us!

Welcome Home

So I have been sick with the flu for the past couple of days, which means staying in bed, doing pretty much nothing. Now for those of you who know me, this isn't something I tend to do often, if at all. I'm a person who loves to constantly be doing things; organizing events, being with friends, doing things for others, so if someone tells me I'm sick, I'm gonna go crazy! Tonight I went over to my Catholic Campus Ministry on campus to have my weekly bible study with my amazing group of girls. I was still run down from having the flu so I hadn't been over there all day. When I walked in the door, all my friends greeted me with open arms (well as open as you want to embrace a sick person) and asked how I was doing, if I needed anything, and so on. I was greeted with notes, letters, and soup from some of my best friends. I had only been gone for a couple of days, yet I was received with such love and open arms, I wondered, why would I ever want to leave?

My bible study tonight looked over one of my all time favorite paraboles, the prodigial son (Luke 15:11-32). One of my greatest and funniest memories of this parabole goes back to when I was a junior in high school at my third workcamp. We went to North Carolina and the theme for the week was based on the story of the prodigial son. Every night at workcamp we had what was called program where we would all get together as a camp, do praise and worship and then listen to what the theme of the day was based on what the theme of the week was. So before we would listen to the Emcee talk about the theme, the camp would show videos to get all the workcampers excited to hear about the theme. This year they decided to have a fake reailty show called, "Meet the Prodigials" where they would have interviews with all the family members and follower them around and see what their reactions were. As cheesy as it was, it put the story in a way that we could physicaly see what was happening and really start to feel the impact of how the father loved his younger son, no matter how far he strayed.
When we read Luke 15:11-32 we find that Jesus is telling this story to the Phariesses, because they have asked Him why is He associating himself with sinners all the time. Jesus tells the parabole; a younger son goes to his father askes for his inheritance and then leaves to live a life of lavish sin. He then looses everything and lives with the pigs. The son finally comes to his senses and returns home to ask forgiveness of his father. The father sees his son in the distance and runs out to meet him. He greets him and welcomes him back with open arms, slaughters the best calf for him, and throws him a party because he was lost and know has been found. Meanwhile, the older son is jealous because in his eyes he has been nothing but a loyal servant to his father, having never once disobeyed him. The father then tells him that all that he has is his, but we must celebrate the return of the younger son. Then the parabole just ends.

I never thought of the ending before, how it just ends right there, nothing more. It's like one of our favorite tv shows that they leave you with a cliff hanger right as the seasons takes a break and the next episode won't be back for another two months. So why the ending? Think about who Jesus was comparing the the characters to in His story: the younger son is the sinner/tax collecters, the older son is the Pharisees, and the father is God/Jesus. While the younger son went off an sinned, he "came to his senese" and returned back to his father, who saw him in the distance, ran to him, and welcomed him home with a party. No matter how much we sin, when we finally cometo our senese, God will always be waiting for us with open arms to welcome us back to his kingdom. As for the older son, he was already in his father's good graces, having not disobeyed, but only saw himself as a servant, never as a son. The Pharisees let pride get in their way, that they know so much that they will never do wrong and are eagarly searching for their reward now. The father then addresses the older son as "My son" to emphasize that he is first and foremost his son, not his servant. Jesus then leaves the parabole ending open so the Pharisees will write their own ending to the story, so that they may grow closer to God, but on their own means.

What character are we in this story? Are we the younger son; one who has strayed from the church and are starting to realize that we are in the wrong, are we coming to our senses and are starting to come back whether it be by going to mass every week, giving 10 minutes a day to prayer, or saying the rosary more? Are we the older son; where we have a good relationship with God but we forget that we aren't servants, that we are brothers and sisters, sons and daughters and to not search for a reward, but to be selfless in our actions? Or are we the father; has someone we known gone astray from the church and we have to stand and wait to see them in the distance, and when they do will we open our arms and our hearts to openly and lovingly accept them into our lives and our faith?

I know I was so blessed to be welcomed back home into the ministry tonight by my bible study and my friends (who are also one in the same), and I hadn't even done anything wrong to them. While the story of the prodigial son is always focusing on the son, it's focus is really on the father, how God not only welcomes us back home with open arms when we sin, but we need to do as well when one of our own brothers or sisers comes home as well.

Just as God always welcomes us home, let us welcome each other home, from sin, sickness, and everything inbetween.

A Cross to Bear

"If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow Me" -Luke 9:23

These were the words in the Gospel yesterday that had me sitting in mass thinking and praying for a while. We've probably heard the saying before, 'to take up our cross' but what does that even mean? Do we have to carry the big wooden cross just like Jesus did on the day of His death? While it may seem it at times, that's not quite what Jesus had in mind when He told us these words in Luke 9:23.

We were all given some sort of cross to bear; it may be physical with a sickness, emotional with a suffering, or anything inbetween. Each one of us was given a specific cross to bear, but like both my mom and my grandma used to always say, God doesn't give us anything more than we can handle.

A couple of months ago I discovered that I have a gluten intolerance, which means that I can't eat anything with wheat, grains, or gluten in it. While it isn't an uncommon thing for people to have today, it doesn't make the frustration any less. At first I was mad and even scared; not only would I have to completely change my diet, but I didn't think that I would be able to handle this new-found cross that God had given me. I was troubled for a good month about this, when I finally when to St. Marys Church down the road from school to go and talk to the priest there. Father told me that indeed God doesn't give us a cross that we can't handle, but that doesn't mean that they won't be tough. He then told me something that will stay with me for the rest of my life.

He said to think of the saints, especially Maria Goretti. (She was 12 years old when she was stabbed to death by her neighbor because she wouldn't committ sin with him.) Her cross that God gave her to bear was her early death, and she never hesitated when the time came to go against God in order to save her life. Her act of martyrdom was not for her, but for others. Father then told me to take the cross that I was given, and offer it up for others, specifically someone who maybe isn't able to fully understand or handle their own cross because it is so much bigger than my own. Have my cross take a part of someone else's cross off of their shoulders, so they can better bear their own.

My cross may be big to me, but in the grand scheme of things, it isn't the worst cross that I would have to bear. God knows why He gave me this cross, and while I don't know now, or may not ever know, I still need to bear it, but I need to bear it in the name of Jesus. So if you are having a hard time bearing your own cross there are a couple of things that you can do about it:

1. Pray about it: Anything that we do, whether it is making a decision, giving thanks, or asking for help, we should always pray about it by interceding with our Blessed Mother and the saints, or even straight to God and Jesus.
2. Offer it up: This may seem hard, especially because when we are miserable, we like to focus on ourselves and how miserable we are, or that we think we are. Take a moment every day, or when it gets really hard to bear the cross and think about your cross in perspective to the world. Then, offer it up for someone, whether you know someone specifically or not, who does have a much more difficult cross to bear. Have your cross take part of theirs off of them.
3. Talk to a priest: If you are still really struggling with the thought of bearing your cross, go and talk to someone, especially a priest. They are always willing to be there and listen and will give some great advice.

In order to follow Christ, we must take up our cross daily and follow Him. It may be hard at times, and most days we won't want to face our cross head on, but Christ bore the biggest cross of them all, where He died on the actual cross in order to save us from our sin. If Jesus had the ultimate cross to bear, what's not to say that we can't bear our own personal cross everyday?

Luke 9:23

I'm Just a Little Missionary

I go to college. I'm going to graduate early. I major in geography. I read, play lacrosse, bake, run, travel, and chill with friends. I'm a twenty something who does all these things and more, but who am I?

I'm just a small missionary of Christ.

I guess you could say that I had my second "reversion" (or re-introduction into the Catholic faith) when I was a freshmen in college. Even then, it took me until my second year to really begin to realize that I'm not just a Catholic, I'm proud to be Catholic. It then took me another year to figure out that, I'm not just a Catholic, I'm called to be a missionary of Jesus. Now before jumping to conclusions, no I am not an actual missionary whereit is my job, like    in FOCUS (although they are very cool people). What I mean by missionary of Jesus is that we as Catholics are called to love others and share God's love and message to others. When we have something valuable and beautiful, such as a new iphone or a new car, we WANT to show it off to others, we want to tell everyone what we just got. It`s the same with the word of God.

So what does that mean then? It starts by being a geniue person; saying hello to everyone, holding doors open, inviting people to lunch or going to get coffee. It then grows into not being afraid to ask those questions; what do you believe, what excites you about the faith, what do you think God has in store for you? It means inviting everyone, both new and old friends to come to mass, adoration, liturgy or the hours, or bible study with you. It doesn`t have to always be a dramatic gesture; even Jesus started with the simple fishermen by asking them just to come and follow Him. He didn`t give all these details, He didn't start with the deep questions, He started with a simple invititation.

If we are to be like Christ, we must first listen and follow Him. I know, this is way easier said than done. For me, it feels like God is just dumping everything imaginable on me ranging from schoolwork to new eating habits, to relationships with friends and family. At times I want to scream "I can't take this anymore'" because at times it feels like I`m left alone. But that`s the beauty, we are never alone; it may not always feel that way, but even though we don:t always deserve it, Godis always with us and always loves us. In order for us to share His message as missionaries, we need to listen to it and live it first.

I'm been Catholic my entire life, and I'm just beginning on this journey now. It will be tough, it will ge frustrating, and we will want to give up, but with Mary, Jesus, and all the saints cheering us on, how can we loose? Pray everyday; both in need and thanksgiving, share love in both big and small ways, and always keep God`s love and word in your own heart.

I'm just a little missionary, but I have a big message to share.