Where You Lead Me

For those of you who know me, I'm a sucker for a good quote; song, saint, bible verse, inspirational, you name it, I will most likely love it. When thinking of my next blog post to write, which has been a very long time due to being incredibly busy college student during finals week, I was actually praying in the chapel the other week when the song "Where You Lead Me" by MercyMe popped into my head. Now I know what you all are probably thinking, she was just listening to that song prior to going into the chapel to pray, so as a form of distraction she is now singing those random songs in her head. Well my fellow companions, that is not the case. The last time I really listened to that song was years ago, so long ago that in fact I actually can't remember when I last listened to it. So now you would probably be saying, well it' just random that the song just happened to pop into your head then. Wrong again my friends, wrong again. Let me take you back a couple of weeks to get you all updated, then it will all make sense of why this song happened to come into my head while I was praying.

April is a very busy/crazy time of year for college students; there are many last minute assignments that professors want to get in, research papers are due within the last few days of classes, finals are quickly approaching, which can't be studied for since all the other assignments need to get done first. Basically, it's a month full of crazy. In addition to that, we were preparing for next years council elections at the Catholic Campus Minisry, or the CCM as I will refer it to. People were getting nominated, accpeting/declining nominations, and preparing to see who would fill the positions for the upcoming year. While usually very excited during this time, thinking of where I will be elected to, I was quite sad this year. This year was my last year on my CCM council, because next fall I will be graduating early, and since the council positions require a full year of service, I was not able to fulfill those requirements. So elections happened, and the new council was elected for next year.

The following Monday we then will have a joint council meeting, where both the outgoing and incoming council will have our bi-weekly meeting together. As soon as all of the meetings of the day were finished, our term was done, or as Katie, our president put it, "It is finished". It realy started to hit me then; while I wasn't going to be graduating this year, I only had one semester left. Even then, the current semester is almost over and now the summer is quickly upon us. What is going to happen?

What will happen? I think that question is asked so often of our society every single day. We yearn so much to be in constant control of our lives; what we eat, how we dress, where we live, who we are friends with, that we hate the thought that we have no idea what the  future holds for us. I know for a fact that I struggle with this quite often, espeically now with everyone constantly asking me what I plan on doing once I graduate next semester. What am I going to do? Where am I going to go? After our day of meetings, I then sat in the chapel and just thought about it all, what was going to happen in my life. Then, the MercyMe song "Where You Lead Me" came into my head. Now this isn't the first time this has happened where a song that I haven't listened to in years suddenly comes into my head, so because of that, I just sat and listened to the lyrics play in my head. My favorite part is the chorus

Where you lead me, I will follow. Where you lead me, I give my life away. Where you lead me, I will follow forever and a day.

How beautiful are these words, I thought. I may not know what all this summer will bring, nor what next semester will bring, nor what the next year will bring after I graduate, and I was really starting to realize all this when my time on CCM council was done. But, while this part of my life is finished, more chapters will begin to be written, and while I don't know what the storyline will be, wherever God will lead me, I will follow.

Listen to Where You Lead Me by MercyMe here

Faith, Trust, and Intimacy

Good Friday is always full of reflection, liturgy, and prayer. My day began with Stations of the Cross at 12pm, where we did reflection at each of the fourteen stations. We then had what is known as Tre Ore, which is translated 'Three Hours'. It traditionally goes from 12-3pm, and is a reflection on the last seven phrases of Jesus while He was on the cross. The four Gospels (Mark, Matthew, John, and Luke) all have different accounts of what was said while Jesus was on the cross, which is why we reflect on seven total phrases. At my Catholic Campus Ministry, we have seven different students each pick a phrase, then each one will reach the Gospel passage, give a brief reflection, read a prayer on the passage, then snuff one of the candles (there are seven in all, one for each of the phrases that was said). There is then a song that is sung, and then time for silent reflection before the next phrase.

This year I was asked to do a reflection for Tre Ore, and I have to say, it was such a tough decision to decide which one I wanted to choose. After much prayer, I finally decided, or well God decided for me, and I wanted to share with everyone.

Luke 23: 44-46
  "It was now about the sixth hour, and there was darkness over the whole land until the ninth hour, while the sun's light failed; and the curtain of the temple was torn in two. Then Jesus, crying with a loud voice, said, 'Father, into thy hands I commit my spirit!' And having said this he breathed his last."

Jesus made the ultimate sacrifice; He endured various forms of torture, ridicule, and pain, He carried a cross on His back to the top of a hill, had to greet His mother through all this pain, was nailed to a cross, and then He died. Despite all the pain and suffering, He still managed to have complete trust in God.
When you look at the agony in the garden (Luke 22: 42) Jesus said, "Father, if you are willing, take this cup away from me; still not my will but yours be done"
He was terrified, for He knew exactly what was going to happen, and even with this knowledge, He still put all His trust in God He could have backed out, said no, and just walked away from it all, but He didn't. Instead, He had trust in His Father, a trust that was there even at that final moment when He finally said, "Into your hands I commit my spirit." At that moment, Jesus truly gave God everything; mind, body, soul, and spirit. A trust beautiful beyond compare, one that we all must strive to have with our Father.
Not only was there trust, but intimacy. With both the prayers Jesus said; in the garden and on the cross, they began with 'Father' for Jesus was addressing Him personally, something that we all must do every single day with in both our prayer and when we speak of God. When we talk about Jesus we need to use the present tense, that Jesus IS not Jesus was.
Trust and intimacy; two things that we NEED to have with our Father.
During liturgy of the hours, night prayer ends each night with the prayer, "Into your hands, Lord, I commend my spirit." In the Divine Image of Jesus Christ, the words "Jesus, I trust in you" are written below the image. We have all these ways to express our trust with God, but do we really trust in Him?
It's hard to trust God when the path on which we walk is rocky and we have many crosses to bear. It's hard to have an intimate relationship with God when there is so much pain and suffering in the world. Why is it so hard to trust?
To trust someone, they have to merit it by actions, by love. We as humans have to gain trust. We can trust family, friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, and all those who are close to us because they have gained our trust with their love for us, with their self service and dedication to us. We see this through small actions that they do for us. In order for us to trust God, we first need to fully understand what He did for us, that He gave us His only Son who died on the cross for us.
How much does He truly love us? Look up at the cross at the front of any Catholic Church and you will see Jesus with His head bowed. Why is it bowed? More importantly, who is He bowing His head to? He is bowing His head to us, to you, because He died on the cross for you. Kings are bowed to by their servants, but this King of heaven and earth is bowing to us, to show us just how much He truly loves us. Mother Teresea even said, "When we look at the cross, we know how much he loved us then. When we look at the tabernacle, we see how much he loves us now."
Next time you look at that cross, stop and think of what He did for you, thank him, and then, bow your head in return. He loves us so much that He would die for us, the greatest act of love known to man, so why shouldn't we trust in Him? Bow your head back to Him, show Him how you want that intimate relationship, how you trust in Him and what He has in store for you. Then say with all your heart and with meaning,
Jesus, I trust in you.

Three Trees

You know it is holy week when Catholics are extremely busy, running around, making sure everything is set up for Easter Triduum. (hint hint why I haven't been able to post nearly as much as I would like to in the past week or so...).

So as Easter is quickly approaching, many Catholics like to go to confession, making the lines very long. Unfortunately I had no time to go in the beginning of the week with my crazy schedule, so I finally made time to head over to St. Mary's down the road for 7pm confession on a Wednesday night. I was proud of myself, I had gotten there 15 minutes early (6:45pm) but was surprised to see so many cars, the entire parking lot was packed! I then saw many students from the Catholic primary school, Holy Cross, and then thought, 'oh, it's just the parents picking up their kids from class, no worries.' So I headed inside, and as I started to make my way to the usual pews which hold the confession line, I was confused to see many people sitting inside, and holding programs. Usually, 7pm on a Wednesday night there is both confession and adoration, which I was totally prepared for, but now this was throwing off my schedule! Now that I was sitting in the pew waiting, I was deciding should I stay and see whatever is happening/if confession is actually happening, or should I risk leaving and then try to come back later? Then 5 more people came and sat in my pew, trapping me. Looks like I was going to stay.

Moments later one of the sisters from Holy Cross Academy came up to the front of the church to introduce the event. The school's sixth graders were performing a play entitled 'Three Trees', apparently a holy week tradition at St. Mary's Church. As soon as she finished her introduction, the sixth graders, all dressed in purple tee-shirts and khaki pants, filed into the church as they began to sing. Ahh so it would be a singing play! I was already here, so I decided to sit back, relax, and enjoy, waiting to see what was to unfold.

The play was really cute; it was about three young trees who had big plans for when they grew up. The first tree wanted to become a treasure chest to hold the finest gold, silver, and jewels, fit for a king. The second tree wanted to become a ship who would carry mighty sailors and kings. Then, the third tree didn't want to become something, but instead wanted to grow straight and tall, so that when people looked up at him, they would look up at heaven, for that is how tall he wanted to be. One day, some men came to chop all three trees down, and then they were thrown off to the side. The first tree was then taken by carpenters and made into a box, which was then put in a manger to be used as a oxen feed box. The tree was upset, for it had wanted to hold treasures beyond compare. Then, along came a man and a woman who had nowhere to go. So they came into the manger, and the woman gave birth to a son, and laid him in the box, for she had no crib for him. The tree had dreamed of wanting to hold treasures of gold and silver, but now he was holding the greatest treasure of them all. Now the second tree was all taken by carpenters and was made into a small boat, which was then placed on a small lake. The tree was upset because it had wanted to be a mighty ship with sails so big that it would carry great warriors and kings. One day a group of fishermen and a teacher came into the boat, where the teacher ended up falling asleep. Suddenly the weather turned bad, and the boat looked like it would capsize and the fishermen were greatly afraid, but then the teacher stood up and commanded the sea to be calm. The tree had dreamed of being a huge ship, who would carry get warriors and kings, but now was holding the greatest of kings, the mightiest of warriors who could calm the seas. Then, there was the third tree, who was left until one day some soldiers came, picked him up, and put him on a man's back, a man who walked up a hill, with many people laughing and jeering at him. The man was then put up on the tree where he died. The tree was upset because he wanted to live a long life and grow so tall that when people looked up at him, they would be looking up at heaven. Then the tree understood; by that man who carried him and then was killed on him opened up the gates of heaven. Now every time people see this tree, they are looking at the opening of heaven. The play then ended with three students holding up three white flags (they held green flags in the beginning to represent the three trees) but now the white flags are what the trees became and how they will lead up home to Jesus.

The play was 30 minutes long and something that I wasn't expecting to see at all, but as simple and music filled as it was, there was such a big message that was put so simply. All three of the trees had plans of what they wanted to do when they grew up; they wanted to be great each in their own way, but then one day their plans were drastically changed as they were cut down. They each then had to just wait and see what was going to happen to them. Then they each served a very important role in the life of Jesus; the feed box in which was the baby's crib, the fishermen boat on which Jesus calmed the storm, showing himself to the disciples, and then the cross on which Jesus gave His life for us and opened the gates of heaven. We all want to do great things in this life, we all have plans drawn out, organized neatly in which we want to follow, but those elaborate plans may not be what God has in store for us, in fact He has something way more important and better for us to do in our lifetime. What we need to do is just trust in Him, and not just trust, but put all of our trust in Him. We need to give our lives to Him and to know fully that He will take care of us, that He has great plans for us.

I went into church Wednesday at 6:45pm expecting to go to confession and spend some time in front of Jesus in adoration, but what I saw and experienced was a simple story of a great message given by some sixth graders.

What will those three trees say to you?